When attacks come….

“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” –John 16:33, NKJV

Sometimes I will see a post on social media and it will say something like, “The only thing I need in life is my cat,” or “The more I get to know people, the more I love my apartment.”

I smile at first when I read these posts because I understand. I understand what it’s like to be seemingly surrounded by irksome humans. People who talk about others behind their backs. Men who don’t pay child support. The neighbor who is on drugs.  These people have messy lives and their messiness leaks over onto us, no matter how many layers of social insulation we wear.

And then my smile fades and I remember.  I remember the years I spent in isolation because I had so many bad experiences with people during one season of my life. I remember wondering if the attacks were justified.  Was I that flawed? Was I as terrible as those people said I was?  I’d go over interactions I had with those people in my mind over and over again from my foxhole.   Each time I came to the conclusion that I would have do the same thing again if I had to do it over again. Maybe I’d use different words, maybe a softer tone, but essentially the same thing.

Those years were so lonely. Yes, I turned to my faith and I held on, but I was not even close to living the abundant life scripture told me was mine.  Depression lurked, always ready to devour me.

Now these years later, if I could speak to that person I was, I’d tell her to go out and meet more people. That’s right. Go out and meet more  people.  I know this seems so counter intuitive.  Meet MORE people who might hurt me? More people who might stab me in the back? Yes!

Now I’m not saying we shouldn’t be wise when we choose friends.  But this is the deal. It’s good when we know in our heart we’ve made a right decision, but it’s better when we have a support system who also think we’ve made a right decision.  The more people we get to know, the larger the sample we have from which to choose friends.

I remember one time when I had the humility to talk to someone about all the trouble I was having with a group of people.  I still remember her words to this day, “Debbie, if those people had accepted you, it would have been a huge insult.  It would have meant you were just like them.” I had suspected what she had said in my heart, but when those words came from her lips, healing came.

Perhaps if we continually attract the wrong type of people it’s because we need to do some work on ourselves, perhaps this is just a season we’re going through.  Sow some seeds to kindness, pray and ask God to change whatever needs changing and then do whatever it is you have to do to enlarge your circle of friends.

“And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, ‘Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!’ So God granted him what he requested.” –1 Chronicles 4:10, NKJV.

I pray God will enlarge your territory as you find the courage to step out of isolation and into the abundant life God has for you.